GROWN WOMEN-vs-GIRLS

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Insecure Women want to control the man in their life.

Secure Women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Insecure Women check you for not calling them.Secure Women are too busy to realize you hadn't.Insecure Women are afraid to be alone.Secure Women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.Insecure Women ignore the good guys.Secure Women ignore the bad guys.Insecure Women make you come home.Secure Women make you want to come home.Insecure Women leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Secure Women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.Insecure Women worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man
.Secure Women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.Insecure Women try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).Secure Women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends.Insecure Women think a guy crying is weak.Secure Women offer their shoulder and a tissue.Insecure Women want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Secure Women log you off your email when they are on the computer.
Insecure Women Check your email and text messages.
Secure Women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.Insecure Women get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.Secure Women know that was just one man.Insecure Women fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
Secure Women know that sometimes the one you love, doesn't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

RELATIONSHIP PINK SLIP

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Closure is what many of us seek at the end of a relationship but many times we are left to wonder what went wrong? We are left to wonder if it was something that you did to them or maybe someone better came along. The feeling of not knowing can be a hard pill to swallow. It can emotionally devastating for some. You have been given you relationship "Pink Slip" but you have no idea WHY?

I fell in love once over a phone call. As simple as that sounds that was all that it took for him to have my heart. What was special about the call was that it was Valentines Day and me and this person had plans for that evening. We spoke that morning but later that evening he was a no show. He did not return any of my calls. I am used to not having a date for Valentines but I thought that this year would be different. As the days went on I became upset because I had not heard from him. By weeks end I received a call from an inmate in a correctional facility. It was him. He called to tell me that he didn't stand me up but that he got caught up in a situation with some people and he wanted me to know that. He didn't want anything from me nor did he want me to do anything for him. He simply wanted me to know that I was that special to him. It was just that simple I received that closure that I needed to move on. I no longer had as feeling of rejection or inadequacy. As far as our relationship we still remain good friends and he is no longer in a correctional facility. His stay was not even that long. Our lives however were moving in different directions so a real relationship was not to be had. As I had found closure in the previous relationship there is one that I have not yet to find closure. I had spent days and nights trying to figure out what went wrong. All communication broke down between us. He was someone that I felt was a good friend but apparently I was wrong. It was the perfect relationship without commitment. We would play video games and watch movies (I am a movie and video game enthusiast). Eventually the relationship became physical. I will admit that the physical was amazing! I would have been happy if things stayed as they were but eventually he wanted to be in a relationship. Prior to him I had not been in a serious relationship in 2yrs so I was hesitant. One of the things that made me hesitant was that fact that he was a rapper and I am aware of the temptations in that he has and would face in that career but also we stayed in two hours away from each other. He was very persistent, eventually I decided that being in a relationship with him would not be so bad after all. The day that I wanted to give him his answer I called and got no answer. I sent him a text to call me and I left a message but I got no answer. The next day I spoke to a mutual friend that told me that my friend no longer wanted to be bothered with me because "I" was pressuring him to be in a relationship. The only thought that came to my mind was "Wow". The first conversation of a relationship came from his lips. I was perfectly content with the way that things were. I never got a chance to speak with him again because he would not take my calls or respond to any of the text messages that I sent. I just wanted to know what the real problem was. To this day I have never spoken to this person again and the most conversation that we have had after the fact was a "How are you" on Myspace. What makes it hard for one to bring another party closure is because you don't want to hurt their feelings. But one may not be aware that they do more damage by leaving the person in a state of not knowing. I have recently had partners in previous relationships approach me to explain why they left. They felt the need to tell me after all of these years is because they felt that they needed a sense of closure for themselves.

GOOD GIRL

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The anticipation of wanting him inside me was so high that I couldn't control myself and masturbated before he arrived at my suite. I knew the moment when I saw him that neither one of us wouldn't be able to keep our hands to ourselves yet alone our tongues. This man's kisses were so passionate and succulent. I don't know how many times I came in my panties from his moist kisses. The doorbell rang as I was getting myself together. He stepped inside my doorway with his long tall frame. "Damn it!!!!" I said to myself. He kissed me and asked how was my day. As usual he always makes it better when he arrives to sooth the pain away.

He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. I felt his hardon in his pants. Damn, all I wanted to do was taste it and I couldn't express it enough. I unzipped his pants and pulled down his boxers and placed his long hard shaft ever so gently inside the wet walls of my mouth. Ummmmm....... precum the best shit and I couldn't wait to tatste more. I slid my tongue around his dick over and over to examine it with my long juicy tongue. We switched positions as I was sitting on the bed. I wanted him to lay down and let me get on top while I worked my magic. I sucked it hard as if my mouth was a suction pump and then relaxed as I threw in the curl of my tongue around his dick. I slid his dick in and out of my mouth and I started to drool on it. It became slippery so I added the right kind of hand action at the base of his dick with the half but light touch of jacking him off action. As I started sucking harder he started squirming and his toes started curling. He pulled my head closer and down harder on his dick and told me he wanted to cum inside me and he wanted me to taste him. I agreed by sucking him harder. He was enjoying it. I lightened up a bit , didn't want him to have a stroke on me from the intensity of my blow job. I flicked my tongue on it and tried sticking my tongue into the split as much as I could while I massaged his balls and cupped both of them in my mouth while licking his dick. By this time he was ready to explode and I did what any good girl would. I obeyed my man and got on my knees while he stood over me and released every bit of his hard working day into my mouth. As he stood there doing so I just watched him shake and jerk while having fun with the cum in my mouth. He told me I was a good girl for taking every bit and swallowing.

(this story was done by submission. If you have a story to submit send to mentallyorgasmic@gmail.com)

ORGASMIC-ALLY CHALLENGED

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Many women have never had or are not sure that they have had an orgasm. These women are the ones that I call orgasmic-ally deprived. Yes, If you have never had one I blame you! How is your partner suppose to know how to satisfy you if you don’t know what you want or need to be satisfied. Its like the blind leading the blind if you ask me. Don’t worry because I am going to help you discover “Your Sexy”.

Step #1:

So you may be asking yourself “How is she going to help me find my sexy”? I am going to start with this simple question (but first I need you to stand in front of a full length mirror naked): “Do you think you are sexy”? Some of you are not going to be so quick to answer yes because you are only looking at your flaws. Stretch marks, cellulite, and that little belly that you have is still sexy to a lot of men! I need for you to focus on the things that make you as a woman sexy whether its the thickness of your thighs, the curvature of your hips, the smallness of your waist, and the fullness of your breast. These things make you sexy as a woman. You need to love all aspects of your body including your flaws. Improve on the things that you can but love everything else just the way that it is. There is nothing more sexy to your partner whether male or female is someone that has confidence in their appearance. Your partner may find that
the dimples in the booty are the sexiest thing on your body. The stretch marks on your thighs and ass may be the thing that gets him aroused. You need to feel the same way. Once you have accomplished that and started to see your self as sexy you are ready to move onto the next step.

Step #2

Once you have started to become attracted to yourself you need to begin to take your time to find out how you like to be touched. No, I am not saying for you to start molesting yourself immediately (at least not yet anyway). You need to take the time to start learning the pressure points on your body. You can do this when you are in the tub, putting on lotion or better yet right after you left the spa from getting a mint body wrap. Whether you are in the bed or on the couch should have total silence in the room. You want to only focus on your breathing and you the sensations you are about to experience. You should start by lying on your back and begin rubbing your leg with your finger tips. Apply very light to heavy pressure as you move your fingers up and down your calf. Close your eyes how does the sensation make you feel? Now make your way up your thigh. Slowly rub the inner thigh. Focus on the sensation that you have when your fingertips lightly move around your thigh and up to you hip.
Now do the same thing with the opposite leg. All the while concentrate on your breathing and the sensations that you are experiencing. Work your way up your torso up to your breast. Gently fondle your breasts. Then work your way to your arms. Are you beginning to get turned on yet? Try to restrain from touching your clitoris and your vagina. The whole point of this step is for you to become in tune with your body. If you are doing this right you may already be having an orgasm or on the verge of having one. (I know I am). You are now ready for step #3

Step #3:

Now that you know how you like to be touched now its time for you to learn the difference between a vaginal and a and a clitoral orgasm. By learning the difference between the two will help you to know if you have or have not experienced an orgasm. You need to set the mood for this one so have a glass of Chardonnay, light some candles turn on “After Hours” or insert your favorite Cd (custom cd with all you favorite sensual songs are recommended for step and increase the bass setting on the radio as well). Begin by rubbing your fingers along your inner thigh and along the crease of your ass and your thigh. Explore your body as you did in step #2. This time once you are turned on take your index finger and the ring finger and gently massage the inner lips of the vagina. Once again focusing on your breathing as your fin-
gers explore the inner lips. Take the middle finger and gently play with the tip of your clitoris. Apply various forms of pleasure. Massage the clitoris by rubbing it between your index and ring finger. Move your hand closer to you vagina and lightly massage the vagina. Don’t insert your finger just yet we can’t have you going for immediate gratification just yet. With the middle finger massage the clitoris in a circular motion. While manipulating the clitoris the vaginal muscles will automatically begin to contract. Focus on contracting your vaginal muscles as you continue to play with your clitoris. Don’t come just yet! You want to intensify the orgasm by delaying it. This is called “Masturbation Interruptus”. Become completely aroused and then stop. Repeat this step until you can no longer can take it then insert your middle and ring finger into your vagina. Use your thumb to continue the stimulation of the clitoris. As you climax let your vaginal muscles push and pull your fingers in and out to continue the orgasmic feeling manipulate focus on the sensation that you are feeling and lightly rub the tip of the clitoris. Vary the pressure that you apply while staying focused on the sensation that you are feeling. If the sensations are become more intense and vaginal walls are contracting more intensely you are experiencing an orgasm. Now that you are more aware of how you like to be stimulated and you know what a clitoral orgasm is you are now


ready to experience the vaginal orgasm. Pick up the phone and call your partner for this last step. :-)

Step #4

Now having a vaginal orgasm is not the same as having a clitoral orgasm. During the lovemaking process you need to more vocal with your partner. You are in control of your orgasm and ultimately theirs as well. If they are not touching you where you need to be touched to become aroused you need to direct them. Verbally tell them where you want to touched or grab their hand and slowly and silently guide their hands to the spots on your body that causes you arousal. Kissing is a very important part in the arousal with your partner. Shoving your tongue down their throat is not a turn on. Take the time too truly enjoy the kiss. The kisses should be light, playful and teasing. Use your tongue to light caress the lips, play with the tip of your partners tongue. Kiss them passionately. Rub your hands along their body the same way that you did yours in step #2.

Now whether you want to go into oral after kissing is your choice (and I would have to give another step for you to have an orgasm while giving oral) but we are going to continue focusing on the vaginal orgasm. Now once you are ready for penetration (www.trojan.com)
you need to make sure make sure that you are in a position that you are comfortable with. Whether you are on your back, on top, or in the Huckle Buck you need to participate. Don’t just lay there! Being a pillow princess is not a turn on.
(Pillow Princes is one who just lays there) Remember that you are in charge of your partners orgasm as well. Arch your back and position yourself to where you can raise your hips to meet his when your partner is on top. Press your hands against the head board, wall, back of the couch (wherever you are) to gain more leverage. Follow the rhythmic motion that your partner has. If they are going to fast or slow whisper the speed that you want. Ladies if you are riding your need to do more than just bounce up and down. You need to dominate your partner. Put his hands above his head like he does yours. Slow grind on him while either kissing him passionately or looking him in the eye. Remember those vaginal muscles that you discovered in the last step. Use those same muscles now. You want to have the muscles to contract while you ride him. If you find that trying to make the muscles contract while riding is taking to much concentration position yourself to where the clitoris is exposed and lean slightly forward so that you can stimulate the clitoris against his body (men this works best if you have shaven). Imagine that your vagina is hugging him or that it is a hand squeezing him. Kiss and lick his neck. Continue until you feel the pressure rise and you have an orgasm. Congratulations you have found “Your Sexy”

When your partner is hitting it from the back throw it back at them. Wrap your legs around them and put that arch in your back. Not sure why he likes that position? Next time get the same mirror that was used in step one and position it near the bed and check your self out

while your partner is back there. Yes you are sexy in this position! Achieving an orgasm while in the doggy style position requires focus once again on the vaginal muscles. You don’t have to do to much work in this position. Let you partner enjoy being in charge for awhile. Once the pace slows down then that’s when you spring into action. Take control of the position. Bounce back and forth and move your hips. Tilt your hips slightly forward and back again. Imagine your hips are moving in a waving motion like the ocean. By now I shouldn’t have to tell you but I will again “work the muscles”. The same goes for the Huckle Buck. Arch your back and press your hands against something brace your position.

I stated before that you are in charge of partners orgasm as well. So how can you make him achieve it? Participate in the act. The more that you are aware of what turns you on the less stress and focus that your partner has to give to make sure that you are satisfied. Most men are used to making sure that his partner gets theirs before they can focus on their pleasure. The time that they take to try and figure out what turns you on and off can be time consuming. By the time they get you to your peak they just want to cum and go to sleep. A woman that knows what she needs and participates allows an man to focus on what turns him on. Talk dirty to him even say his name. These things encourage him on the act. They let him know that he pleasuring you correctly. Look him in the eye and give him that “Fuck me look”! Once a man is able to focus on his arousal like you are focused on yours. This will also help to kill the
infamous “Jack Rabbit” sex and the “101 Positions”. Jack Rabbit sex is the constant pounding. It is also known as “Bam Bam Bam”. That is not pleasurable in my opinion however their are some that love that. 101 positions is what a man feels he needs to do in order to please a woman. Men its not the number of positions that you put her in. Its whether or not you can satisfy her.

If you are one that has trouble rotating the hips get a Hoola Hoop and start practicing. Make sure you get the Shoop Shoop (you know the ones that have the balls in them and make the “shoop shoop” noise when you doing it right) If that does not help learn how to belly dance. Not only does belly dancing help to tighten the mid section but it shows you how to rotate your hips. One of the important things to remember in sex is your breathing. In Tantric Sex teachings we are taught to breathe each others breathe during the act. This doesn’t mean that you are really inhaling their breathe. You inhale as your partner exhales. You are in a sense becoming one. Your body’s are one in this experience. It is important to enjoy the experience whether you are in a long term relationship or a one night stand. I know that many of you may be skeptical about the one night stand but think about it. You found someone in the club or wherever that you think can satisfy that urge that you have for that moment. If you are going to have a one night stand shouldn’t you make the most of it and truly enjoy yourself? Don’t forget to always practice safe sex. An orgasm can be just not intense if not more by knowing that your partner is wearing a condom.

Do Men Have Orgasms

DO MEN HAVE ORGASMS???

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As many of you know an Orgasm is the climatic peak that one reaches during sex. Recently I came across a blog post on “Nakedwithsockon” discussing how men can fake orgasm . This left me with the question “Can Men Have Orgasms”? Its something that I have never discussed nor have I ever heard a man talk about having one. Upon reading the blog I learned that even though a man ejaculates at the end of sex does not mean that he had an orgasm(yes ladies men can fake orgasms that is if they know what one is). “I know the question running though most people’s minds right now is: “Why would a man need to fake it?” Same reason women do, to protect their partner’s feelings. Whenever I talk to my female friends about this topic it always seems to come as a big shock that a woman can be wack in the sack. Despite popular belief, just being there is NOT enough. Just as men can be a lame lay so can the fairer sex” (www.nakedwithsockson.com.)

Of course after reading the blog I had to do some research of my own. According to Western Sex therapists beliefs a males ejaculation and orgasm are the same thing. Eastern sex therapists believe that men do experience orgasms like women and the orgasm may or may not include ejaculation. This does not mean that their body will convulse and shake like a woman but they do experience something similar. So what does the man experience? According to the information that I gathered a “males penis experiences contractions and pleasurable sensations around the genital area similar in timing and sequence to a females orgasm”.

Even after getting this information I still had to find some men that could describe the male orgasm to me because I was still lost in translation. I asked 6 men whether or not they have had an orgasm and could they describe the feeling. These are the comments that I got from some of the men that I know:


DREW

Are you talking about coming or something else? IS there something else.

CHOCOLATE GIRTH

When men hear the term male multiple orgasm they often imagine experiencing orgasm and ejaculation several times in a row (like a female would) But the term male multiple orgasm usually refer to the experience of having several non-ejaculatory orgasms in a row during one session of sex play, which is a different, but intense and satisfying, sexual experience. In laymen’s term it is truly the buildup or the connection of physical to mental being totally aligned at the moment. I truly feel sorry for those who have not yet had one or many – but still think that because they have had a large ejaculation that it equals a Man-gasm - NOT SO – STUPID.
Just because you had a large ejaculation means nothing to that specific topic – maybe you drank a lot of water – to its just been more than five days till your last encounter.

Fella’s for those of you who feel its not cool to totally let go and enjoy the sexual tenderness that your lady can give you – Your fucking missing out!!! If you think that by relaxing and enjoying will deem you as whipped – oh well. Its like this for those of us who put in selfless work to bring our ladies to the point of orgasm- when they reaching for shit that ain't there, toes curling backwards, speaking in other languages, eyes rolled back and you scared to touch her- Fuck that I want her to make me feel the same way…. So I'ma bout to lay back and get my session on – talk to you lames lata…

SHAWN

I never had one.

KING

A feeling that most men may not talk about often is the same feeling that has allowed us to keep Millions of Women in Love or strung out in Lust. This Feeling is the Male Orgasm…sort of sounds like an Oxymoron lol but yet it is the same feeling that has evoked an “I love you” out of a male in false pretenses during sex or ended one of the worst arguments of the year. Lets cut the games the male orgasm is developing at those moments right before we are about to cum. I say moments and not seconds because a knowledgeable individual can control the actual level and length of this sensation to last long enough to continue the passion. It’s also a warning that the end may be near for the sexual hurricane….or babbling brook that they may be engaged in. Some men may never witness this underrated sensation due to a rush to finish a job in which they are only working to please themselves. On the other hand it is said that” Nice Guys finish last because they make sure that she cums first”. The sexual orgasm leaves a man with a strong sense of accomplishment while glancing over at his woman and noticing her smiling at him as she drifts into slumber. Simply busting a nut is why he is probably out of your crib ladies before you can fix your hair straight again. For Some actually realizing when they are having an orgasm can be about as difficult as achieving one or multiples for his girl. One thing is Sirtainly for sure we can not have those back to back like women…When It has happened it has happened…Although I have realized that Going down on her to Indulge myself in a feeding frenzy, does speed up the time in between for me to continue once again. It’s something about hearing her reach her sexual Climax Once again that just compels me to continue my Civic Duty lol…The real question is how long will I have the passion for her to devote my all to satisfying her…guess that depends on her ability to satisfy me as well.

KEVIN

YES I HAVE HAD ONE!

SCOTTY J

The male orgasm, aka “busting a nut”- honestly isn’t hard to explain but Miss Intro requested and explanation, so I felt obligated to re-investigate the phenomenon over and over again until I could come up with a creditable explanation. Lol! Its almost like you are in the middle of an intense buzz! This high you can feel all over your body! From that place behind your eyes where you can usually feel a migraine headache starting down to your toes! The only problem is the high only lasts for a 3 to 10 seconds tops. The orgasmic feeling can be extended for a few seconds if you find a partner that genuinely loves you the way that it feels when you bust inside of them. I don;y know how to truthfully explain that magic but its crippling. Lol!

DANA

A male orgasm is like a roller coaster.

CHARLES

The satisfaction and feeling for a male orgasm is very undescribable, but a numbing feeling of sensation. If your partner does it right she might get breakfast or lunch and a beverage when it is done.