Reflections & Confessions of the HEART

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What is LOVE?...... Is LOVE truly unconditional?...... Is LOVE truly blind or do we simply put on the "shades"?.....Why do we tend to hurt those who love us most?........Why isn't LOVE EASY or is it supposed to be, when its RIGHT? Or does it take WORK? When does ones mistake out weigh the mistakes of another?

These are some questions that I have been forced to ask my HEART lately and to be honest I am no more closer to finding an answer than I was the day I decided to leave....

I simply bottled my feelings up, placed a band-aid over my heart, and shelved another broken heart on aisle 9 next to the bottle of HURT, PAIN & DISAPPOINTMENT.

Is it so hard to ask for someone to love and cherish you like you know you deserve and that you have given whole heartily...or must one be taught? Is it unfair to assume that another person should know the value of TRUE LOVE? or is that learned, one heart break after another; wither you are the one who is doing the heart breaking or the one who is standing by and having your heart broken?

Can a heart be mended after some time of healing....or does that bond that should have been cherished unrepairable...?

I have pondered that very question over and over again to the point that I have almost felt as though I may loose my sanity. I know the value of LOVE and I know how much of a precious gift LOVE is....and I know what it means to have someone betray that trust...

I have laid under the covers...hidden from the world, locked away and have even told myself that I would never love again in FEAR that my HEART would be broken once again by another.

I have found myself back to an all to familiar place - MISTRUST....DISAPPOINTMENT.....tainted LOVE...all because of anothers actions and failure to protect and cherish the gift that I decided to share with them.

In my wisdom I have learned that despite all the hurt that one can take you through, you don't stop loving or caring for them....its just not that easy to walk away when its real....especially when you feel as if you have given your all to someone. It hurts to think that the dreams and bond you wanted to share with that one person is torn away from a single or multiple nights of unfaithfulness, lies and deceit.

When I look at you I become angry because of all the lies you told and hurt you caused me...but there is a part of me that misses the way that only you could hold me, fond memories that only we will share and secrets that the only the 2 of us know.....Is it fair to say in time a person deserves a second - third - fourth of fifth chance? Is it simply human nature to hurt the things we love....is it really that hard to decide that what you have isn't worth a one night nut buster of joy and sexual fulfillment...?

What happens when you feel torn? - on one hand do I stay with the one who has been there through many of my own personal ups an downs, who supports my dreams like no other has before as if they were their own dreams and goals and was able to admit their wrong doings despite the possibility of loosing me, because truth be told I would have never known what they had done or....on the other hand do you allow that one you gave your all to come back in your life, the one you called your TRUE LOVE - the one who knows you so well - who was able to lie - cheat - and disrespect what the two of you shared even when being caught "red handed"....??? Or do you simply say FUCK u both and as Jay Z says; "On to the next one"?

When do you let go of all that hurt & pain and simply say enough is enough?

These are the reflections and confessions of my heart .....of my past - present and possibly my future.
These are the thoughts I take with me on a daily.....these are the things that I ponder at night.....these are the reflections and confessions of my heart.

Signed,

Not a poet but simply the whispers of a broken heart.